Box Elder bugs have invaded our apartment.

They have been here for a while now actually and it’s starting to drive me completely insane. We don’t have a vacuum cleaner. And we aren’t willing to go and just drop $50 on a crappy vacuum that won’t last long. I just killed a bunch in our bedroom and it just makes me shiver. In case you don’t know, box elder bugs are completely harmless. And a really big nuisance. I itch all over at the thought of them.

I’ve been asking myself why I’m so bothered by them. Yea, they annoy Eric too, but he mostly laughs at my reaction to them. I’m thankful he is understanding and doesn’t give me too hard of a time for overreacting at times. So the thought just occurred to me, these bugs are insulting my cleanliness. If you asked, I’d be quick to tell you that I do not keep the cleanest home in the world. We have clutter and sometimes my clothes end up on the floor and sometimes I leave the dishes in the sink and just go to bed. I’m definitely still wondering when “deep” cleaning will enter my regular schedule. What’s frustrating though is that I feel like I am highly surpassing myself as far as this housewife stuff goes. I juggle laundry and cooking with homework and LDI pretty well! I get through all the dishes on a regular basis and keep up on the grocery shopping and making sure there’s something to take for lunch most days. I even fold and put away the clothes on the same day! (This is a big deal).

Eric and I have talked about the tendency of women to seek identity in their ability to take care of the home. Cooking and cleaning are what good wives do right? So if we aren’t all that good at it, we feel a little inadequate as wives (this is based on what I’ve observed). Let’s be honest, I’m a little bummed I’m not a better interior decorator. I wish making the bed every morning actually mattered to me…because the “world” says it’s supposed to. It has defined for us what we are supposed to be like. These bugs are telling me I’m inadequate at this role.

Have I convinced you of how ridiculous this is yet? Good. I’m slightly ashamed of myself.

I was reading Leviticus yesterday for my Old Testament class and as I read through all the things that make a person “unclean” and what they have to do be become “clean.” I had a realization that probably nothing in my home would be considered “clean” right now. I said this as a joke but it’s true! God gave the OT law to the Israelites to show them that he is holy and they are not. The entirety of the law cannot be kept. It’s just not gonna happen. That’s why we need Jesus. His atonement for our sin is the only thing that makes us “clean.” Eternally clean. That’s where our identity lies. As one saved by the grace of God through the death and resurrection of Christ.

Our God is incredible. I’m so blown away by how he desires to show us how lousy we are at trying to be him out of love and desire to be in relationship with us.

He is so worthy of our worship.


P.S. I just thought to myself, maybe I shouldn’t post this…people will know my home is full of bugs-dead and alive. Then I realized that would be completely counter my point! =/ So yes. My floor needs vacuuming to clean up the bugs. That’s life.

Here’s an awesome song by Switchfoot: